"I only ever felt the stress afterwards"

Do you feel that making midwifery an academic subject is a milestone?  
Making it a subject you can study is a late step – but for the profession of midwife it is an important one that goes in the right direction. At Münster we’re incorporated into the Medical Faculty, which is a great advantage because both sides can benefit from synergies.

What message is important in your view?
In our profession, the most important thing is the woman’s health – the baby is a sweet little extra! It is regrettable when the success of a birth is only measured by a little pink newborn baby, and the woman is forgotten. I have an allergic reaction to that.

Why’s that?
Because after the birth many mothers suffer with physical complaints and mental or emotional issues. The statement that “mother and child are doing fine” falls short, in my view.

You used to work in hospitals and, on a freelance basis, with families. What attracted you then to university?
What I didn’t like in my practical work was that I often had to say, “I have a feeling that …” I wanted to say with certainty, “I know.” So, for that reason, studying was the logical consequence.

Today, studying midwifery at university is a legal requirement, but you did it on your own initiative. Were you conscious of the necessity at that time?
Through studying, I understood how important it is to broaden your horizons. Working academically opened up a new world for me: I was able to read studies, do research in databases and make comparisons by looking at how things are done in other countries.

You talk passionately about your profession. Did you always want to be a midwife?
No. When I was 16, my mother said, “Being a midwife would probably suit you.” When she said that, she set me on a certain path. Otherwise, I would probably have become a carpenter.

Not exactly similar jobs ...
Not at first sight. But in both jobs you see something grow which, in the end, you bring into the world, so to speak.

When you look back, do you miss the practical side of being a midwife?
Yes and no. I miss working with the women. This relationship of trust which, in the best cases, means that I empower the woman to take over responsibility herself – that’s a very rewarding feeling. Because from my point of view a birth goes well when I have the feeling that I’m just in the way.

And what do you not miss?
Being at the mercy of outside forces. As a freelance midwife I was on call 24/7. I had to plan everything around that: eating when I wasn’t hungry, not moving away too far from the house, thinking carefully about whether I could have a beer in the evening. There were too many people intervening in my life. At any time I could be torn away from any situation, no matter how private. My standard answer whenever my children asked if I had time for something was, “If I don’t have a birth then …” I had the feeling that I was upsetting a lot of people with my rhythm.

So you’ve never regretted taking the academic path?
On the contrary: today I’m in the privileged position of being able to look back on 21 years as a midwife and almost 20 years of experience in research. Being able to pass on this combination to students today is a great gift. It’s very rewarding to watch young women growing into the career of a midwife or a researcher.

How do you make use of your experience?
Our work is often idealised. It’s important for students to get a clear idea of what awaits them. We often hear that there is no job in which you experience so many tears of joy. That may be true, but it can also become too much. Our job is very emotional, and it sometimes leaves us thinking that we’re indispensable. In the worst case, this immense pressure can lead to a burn-out.

Were you ever in such a situation?
I was often close to it. But I only ever felt the stress afterwards. Recently, on the train, a mobile rang with the ringtone that I used to have while I was on call. It immediately gave me a start. It’s still deep inside me after all this time.

Hanna Dieckmann

This article is from the brochure "Twelve months, twelve people", published in February 2024.

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